Happy 2021! I want to tell you about something that I hope will resonate with you in some way and something that has been weighing on my heart lately.
As far as my confidence goes, I’ve been blessed with the ability to accept my physical appearance and recognize that God made me the way he did. But where I lack in confidence at times is what’s inside–my personality, my character, who I am as a human being.
Have you ever been told you are “too much” of something? Because I have. Something that I’ve been told that has really gotten to me in the past is that I’m “too nice.” I have always tried hard to be a nice person… but should I be less nice? It’s things like this that have made me kind of question who I am on the inside. Do I think about others too much? Am I too patient? Should I be more bold and assertive? Should I be more loud and fun? Should I show more emotions than I do? Should I be less serious, more serious? Should I care less about what others think, or should I care more? These kinds of questions and worries can really start to mess with your head and make you wonder… am I enough? Or too much?
These thoughts can make anyone feel so lost and confused, and that is definitely how I’ve felt the past few months. But God is GOOD. And he knows how we feel. And despite these feelings, God has really been speaking to my heart lately, challenging me to wrestle with these feelings instead of simply accepting them and letting them confuse me. As I’ve been wrestling with these feelings, I’ve realized that I’m actually not confused. Just as I mentioned earlier, God made me the way I am–not only on the outside, but he made the qualities on the inside too. And as I’ve recognized that, all of those confusing lies have started to melt away.
I am nice and I like that about myself. I think about others a lot because I care about them–not because I’m neglecting myself. I’m very patient. I don’t get angry at others–not because I’m not angry, but because I intentionally decide to not show anger toward people. I can be bold and assertive when I want to be, and I’m just the right amount of that for me. I am an introverted extrovert–I am fun but I’m not loud because that’s just not me. And when I want to recharge, I’m okay with taking some time alone. I am mature and serious about a lot of things that might be silly, but that’s okay because that’s the way I am. These are the things about me that God made and crafted so carefully. And the beautiful thing about it is that there is no right or wrong because God created everyone so differently. Your special qualities might be so different than mine, and that is perfect for you. Instead of questioning these qualities about myself, wondering If I should me more or less, I have realized that God made me with these qualities because HE knows the path of my life. He made me with these qualities because they will help me to be a good wife to the man I’ll marry, a good mom to the kids He will bless me with, a good friend to the people who are in my life and those who will come into it, a good daughter to my parents and a good sister to my sisters. It’s also important to say that although God created us exactly how he meant to, we aren’t perfect. There will always be areas in our hearts and lives that we need to work on and pray about and that is part of learning and growing into the people God has created us to be.
I know I can’t be the only one who has felt insecure, whether it’s with your outward appearance or what’s on the inside. And I want to emphasize that learning to think this way isn’t a one-time deal–you don’t just wrestle with the lies one time and then it’s done. It’s an every day fight because the enemy does not want you to be who God created you to be. He will try to confuse you and intimidate you every single day because even he knows how amazing God made you. Something that I’ve done in the past and even now is to just keep a few verses on hand for when I’m feeling the pressure to doubt myself, and here they are:
- “I will praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14
Of course I was gonna put this verse in here, I’m sure you saw that one coming. But it’s really so true!! When you’re feeling down, praise God for making you the way he did, because he makes no mistakes. His works are wonderful–YOU are wonderful!
2. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
This is seriously one of my favorite verses and it is so powerful to me. Fear and confusion will never come from God. He gives us the power to be strong in him, to believe what He says about us, and to walk in love.
3. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5
This verse is basically how to fight the fight. Like I said, this is an everyday thing. We have to take every confusing thought and lie and give it to God instead of believing it and letting it take us down.
My word for 2021 is “embrace.” This relates to everything, but also to embracing exactly who I am. When we embrace who God created us to be, we are walking on His path for our lives, which is the best and most peaceful place to be! If this related to you, I’m praying that you also embrace everything about who you are and are convicted in the ways that your heart might need to shift. I hope you take a moment to think of all of your special qualities that make you who you are and how God might use those. Confidence is hard sometimes, but know that if you’re lacking in it, you can lean on the Lord’s confidence–I can promise that He has ALL the confidence in who he made you to be. 🙂
Let’s have a great year!