As I’m sitting here right now, I don’t even know what I’m going to write. I seriously have the worst writer’s block right now. Something I’ve always loved to do is write, and its so frustrating when I sit down to do something I love and I just…can’t. But it’s hard times like these that I have to remember why I started this. I started this not because I wanted to, but because GOD put it on my heart. I never thought I could do it, so I kept putting it off. But GOD knew I could do it, so he was persistent in putting this on my heart until I said “okay.” He put me here to be a vessel–a mouthpiece for Him. He put this blog on my heart because He gave me a unique talent–the talent to express thoughts and feelings through words. And He wanted to use my talents to speak to others. So in these hard times where I just sit here and can’t figure out what to write, I have to remember that it’s not my message. I don’t have to think of anything, because what God wants me to write, He will put on my heart. He will cause it all to work together.
Isn’t it crazy how God makes everything work together for good? Even the “downs” in life have God’s goodness all over them.
Lately, a verse that’s been going through my head is Ecclesiasties 3:11–“He has made everything beautiful in its time.” I’m sure that this verse can mean a lot of things, but what I take it to mean is that God can make anything beautiful. He can cause ANYTHING–even the things that hurt–to grow and bloom into something amazing.
A few years ago, I went through kind of a rough patch. I idolized acceptance. I placed all of my worth in relationships that weren’t God’s best for me. And when they didn’t work out, I was crushed. I had continually poured so much of my heart, soul, and love into something/someone, and it was like it never mattered. For years I wondered, “why God?” If God really loved me, why would He let me go through that? Why would He keep letting me put my worth in all of the wrong things? Why would he let me stay in situations that would cause my heart to ache?
This is where Ecclesiasties 3:11 comes in. Like I said, it’s been going through my head a lot the past few days. And I started to think about what life would be like if everything was perfect, and I realized that I would never learn or grow. I realized that if everything was perfect, there would be no need for faith or hope. And then I realized that’s exactly why God put me in those situations. If God would have fixed everything right away, I would have never learned that my worth comes from Christ. That I don’t have to worry about acceptance because that was covered when Jesus paid the price for me on the cross. If things were easy, I would never have realized my need for Salvation–isn’t that crazy (and almost kinda scary) to think about?
No, my life isn’t easy now. I still have struggles. I still get hung up on little things. I get frustrated. I have bad days. But despite all of that, I have Jesus. And as I walk step by step with Him, I start to see things change in myself. I see that I start to care more about how my heart looks than how I look on the outside. I see that I start to place my value on loving others well instead of being loved. And it shows that Jesus really has made everything beautiful in time.
I think of it kind of like a flower. To grow a flower, you first have to plant a seed in the dirt. The flower doesn’t just grow right away when you plant it. You have to water it and nourish it. And in time, it blooms in to something beautiful. My once hardened heart has bloomed with the most beautiful flowers. And that’s something only God can do.
And I guess my writer’s block is gone. 🙂
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. — Romans 8:28